The End.

I entitled the name of this entry the end. But really, what a horrible name for it! It's only the end of my first semester of college. I don't know how many more I have to go. Fortunately, for me, I was one of the lucky few who survived my first semester of college. My sanity didn't survive, but that's ok!! I'm still here!!! Something funny happened. Actually, a lot of funny things happened. Unfortunately, I only remember a few. So I will recount some of my funny happenings and mishaps.

Ok, so at Weber we have testing centers and we can arrange to go take our tests within the time slots the teacher allows. And so for my final test in Medical Terminology, I went to take it at the testing center. And this was during finals week, so the testing center was absolutely packed with students. And with this test, I had a bunch of spelling questions, so I had to put on the headphones to listen the the word and that it would tell me to spell. This is the funny part. My very first question on the test happened to be a spelling question and the headphones were up as loud as they could go and before I could get them on my head, it blares out "COLPOSCOPY: VISUAL EXAMINATION OF THE VAGINA!" Ha ha, I got a lot of weird looks. It was probably the best thing ever. totally made my day.

That was probably my favorite story of the semester. I was hit on by several nerds at Institute. which was unfortunate, for them and me. This one paraplegic guy keeps trying to ask me out. Last time I basically told him that I was busy for the rest of my life. One guy looked about 30 and he was balding and he looked like he hadn't been to the dentist for his whole life. Another creeper slept on my shoulder on the bus ride. Ugh, I don't want to continue. Anyways, they all had "sweet spirits".

I won't tell about all the strange things that I did this semester. The list is forever long. Just ask Brianna. She witnessed most of it. Now she just ignores me. She is used to my strange behaviors. Yes, I have done stranger things than shove cheeseballs down my throat.

I think I talked to my dog more than anyone else this semester. Especially these last few days. She probably knows just as much about the human body and the economic history of the U.S. as I do. Every time I would get fed up with studying, I would take her on a walk. We went on a LOT of walks. I'm gonna have to start switching up our routes. I'm sure my neighbors think I'm crazy.

I realized something. Life doesn't have to be antisocial. I forgot about that.

Today was horribly and dreadfully wretched. I celebrated like a crazy lady on crack when I finished my last test. I won't go into details.

I forgot where I was going with this. I think I was going to tell funny stories that happened, but I can't remember any of them. I am just so incredibly, amazingly, unimaginably happy that this semester is over and I didn't fail my economics class. Thank goodness I don't have to take another economics class ever again in my whole entire life. Oh yeah, and it's Christmas, my favorite time of the year. Best day out of all the other 365. It wins. Hands down. I'm not taking votes on this one.

You know you're a loser when

Today I was thinking. I know, bad idea for me. Just the other day, someone told me, "Some people drink and drive, you shouldn't think and drive." Ok, so I was thinking and we already established that this was a bad idea. And I came up with a list of good indicators of loserism...

1. You tear up watching documentaries on mammals raising their young.

2. You watch the food network on saturday mornings.

3. On friday nights, you babysit

4. You spend the majority of your weekends studying... by yourself

5. Your mom still offers to make you sack lunches

6. You have no social life.

7. Your life is devoted to studying

8. One of the first things you notice about people is their veins.

9. You are fascinated with rubber bands

10. You shove your mouth full of cheese puffs... for entertainment purposes

11. You have no spine

12. Even if you did have a spine, it's broken.

13. You nair off your arm hair for fun

14. You still play "Don't step on the crack or you'll break your mothers back!"

15. You psychoanalyze all of your friends and diagnose them. Amy, you have tourrettes.

16. Your favorite tv show is about a bunch of nerds

17. You talk to yourself

18. When you are talking to yourself, you explain things with your hands and make funny facial expressions.

19. You draw pictures of animals, for no reason, and then send them to your friends

20. You blog about how you are a loser.

Eh, that's all I can think of. If anyone else has more suggestions for good indicators of loserisms, just add them on.

Cheese Puffs

Dorky

So here's the thing, the man that I love is like Napolean Dynamite. And I am like Deb. Not gonna lie. I just barely found that connection and started laughing hysterically. He drew this picture of me and I think that it's the most beautiful picture of me ever! I think he drew it in appreciation of all the boondoggles that I sent him.

Not only are we are weird couple like Napolean and Deb, but we are also weird looking. He is roughly 6'8" And I am roughly 5'4". There is quite the size difference. It always made the kiss goodnight interesting though!! He would have to squat down like he was playing defense or trying to do the splits and I would still have to go on my tip toes. Sometimes I would switch it up and stand on a couple steps higher than him and that would level us out a little. So I make fun of us and call us the hippo and the giraffe. I'm quite obviously the hippo. And I drew this beautiful picture and sent it to him.

Yep, we are dorks. But I love us.

Bus adventures

I ride the bus. The bus is fun. It's actually a great source of entertainment. I'm thinking of riding it more often just because I love it so much. Why do I love it? Well, I am a people watcher. People are interesting. Especially the ones on the bus. Today on my bus ride, I decided to categorize them. This also proved to be a fun source of entertainment for myself.

Category 1: The sleepers

The sleepers are further divided into subcategories.

I. Headbobbers. I love headbobbers. They are all over the place and they wake up like every 20 seconds and look severely confused and then the lights go off again. So hilarious.

II. Chin to chest old man style. I think we all know what this looks like. It's one of my personal favorites of sleeping positions on the bus. So peaceful.

III. Head back full on snore. I love these people. These people are the ones that have gone crazy or they just don't care anymore. They sprawl out, put their head back, and snore like there's no tomorrow.

IV. The rest of the sleepers I just combine into this one category because they are rare, but still seen. We have the ones who sleep on shoulders, take up the entire bench, the droolers, and the head to hand.

Category 2: The crazies

Of course I made up subcategories for them :)

I. The creepers. Creepers are everywhere. Especially abundant on the bus. You see them and cringe.

II. The lookers. That was sarcasm. The lookers are the ones that you really don't want to look at. In fact, you don't even want to be seen in the same vicinity as them. Usually along with the bad looks comes the bad smell. And then you begin to wonder, "Does this person live in a box? Do they have access to a shower? poor soul." And then you pray fervently that they don't sit next to you.

III. The druggies. Yes, I witnessed a drug deal on the bus. That was peculiar.

IV. The space cadets. These are the ones that just stare. They don't do anything. And it's abnormal. Some of them have headphones, but I often wonder if the headphones are actually plugged into something.

V. The talkers. they talk and talk and talk and talk. To anyone about anything. Don't they know any social norms? You don't just strike up conversations with a complete stranger about your boyfriends cousins pet dog who died. It's weird.

Category 3: The Typicals

I. Readers. They read. And they don't look up.

II. The studyers. They are trying real hard to study. But you can see the pain and anguish in their face that studying inflicts on them. It's a real tragedy. These people are easily and often distracted by anything.

III. The craftsies. I love the old ladies who bring their knitting stuff with them on the bus. It's the best thing in the world. I've also seen cross-stitching and crocheting. I have yet to see boondogglers.

Anyway, That's about it for the random assortment of people I see on the bus. I fall into almost every category. Even the druggies. I'm not a druggie, but I sure look like one at times. I love the bus.

Life Lessons

Ok, so since college started, there have been a few vital life lessons that I have learned.

1. All fours on the floor. This is one of those lessons that most people learn in 1st grade. I never learned it, until just recently. I really love to lean back on my chair. I have done it ever since I was a wee little kid. I've never fallen over doing it either. But one day, it was just a typical leaning back in the chair circumstance and I say to my little sister, "I'm surprised that I haven't fallen over yet." And then not 5 minutes later, WHAM!! I'm on the floor and my head hurts. Ha ha, I don't sit in that chair anymore.

2. Seriously, don't put that in your mouth. How many times a day do I have to remind myself to keep my fingers or my pens out of my mouth? I'm like a 2 year old. I finally figured out that it's gross to just put things in your mouth. But the 1o second rule still applies. Unless it's covered in dog hair...

3. No matter how much I learn, I still will not know squat. There is so much to learn and I would not know everything even if I spent my whole life going to college. The more that I go to school, the more I realize that I don't know much.

4. I will not be officially crazy until I wake up married to a pineapple. I thought that I had lost my mind. And then I saw the show Ice Age 3 and found out that I am not crazy yet.

5. Never sit alone in the institute building at Weber. Better yet, just don't sit in the institute building at Weber. Even better, just don't go into the institute building. Every time I go in there, I get hit on by some 40 year old crazy guy. It's like I'm wearing this huge neon sign that says, "I'M SINGLE! HIT ON ME PLEASE!" The first one had some sort of mental and physical disability. And yes, I am mean, but I am just not interested in him. He had a nice personality though. And somehow he got my number, which is unfortunate, but he hasn't called in a few weeks, so it's all good. Since him, I've tried to avoid eye contact with everybody at all costs. It has semi-worked.

I think that's about it for my college life lessons.

101 Ways to Make Love without doin' it

Ok, so there is this boy. And I really like him and he really likes me. And we are far away, but we find ways to make each other laugh and stay in touch. He sent this list to me and I found it hilarious. And no, he did not make it up himself. But he is very clever and probably could have.

1. Tell the other person you love them

2. Give or get a hug

3. Make the other person feel important and respected

4. Kiss!

5. Have fun together

6. Tell the other person that you care

7. Hold hands

8. Go for a long bike ride

9. Give a special gift

10. Be there when a friend is needed

11. Spend time together

12. Go to a movie

13. Walk arm in arm in the woods

14. Make a special tape of Love songs

15. Talk openly about your feelings

16. Share dreams with each other

17. Snuggle up together

18. Sit together in the park

19. Take a walk together

20. Go out to eat

21. Have a picnic

22. Play a game

23. Give compliments

24. Relax in a whirlpool

25. Go swimming

26. Just be close

27. Go grocery shopping

28. Cook a meal together

29. Touch each other in a loving way

30. Do homework together

31. Plan and go on a road trip

32. Throw a party together

33. Bake cookies

34. Go to the Library

35. Browse in a museum

36. Just be there

37. Find out what's special for the other person and do it

38. Exercise together

39. Gaze at each other

40. Wash each other's cars

41. Go fishing

42. Talk to each other

43. Listen to hurts

44. Do a work project togehter

45. Choose a special favorite song

46. Listen to joys

47. Hold each other close

48. Use eye contact to share a private thought

49. Write each other letters

50. Talk on the phone

51. Trust each other

52. Give or receive a promise ring

53. Meet each others family

54. Go hiking together

55. Make sacrifices for each other

56. Just cuddle

57. Respect each other

58. Go for a moonlight walk

59. Hide a love note where the other will find it

60. Give each other sexy looks

61. Write a poem

62. Send flowers

63. Eat dinner by candlelight

64. Go to a concert

65. Watch the sunrise together

66. Take a drive together

67. Give each other pet names

68. Go sightseeing

69. Rent a video

70. Do things for each other without being asked

71. Ramble on tangents to each other

72. Whisper something nice into the others ear

73. Be best friends

74. Take a carriage ride through the park

75. Go out dancing

76. Play music together

77. Flirt with each other

78. Laugh at something funny together

79. Be faithful

80. Impress each other

81. Make a list of things you like about each other

82. Read a book and discuss it

83. Meet each others friends

84. Go horseback riding

85. Cook each others favorite food

86. Find out what makes the other happy

87. Make each other gifts

88. Be caring

89. Watch the sunset

89. Nibble the others ear

90. Tickle each other

91. Dedicate a song on the radio

92. Send a funny card

93. Share lifetime goals with each other

94. Play "footsie"

95. Share private jokes

96. Think about each other

97. Find out what makes the other sad

98. Go skating

99. Stroke your hand through each others hair

100. Share an ice cream cone

101. Have your picture taken together

And then he added a few more to the list but I will make an honorable mention to my favorite which is wrassle with a 9-iron. And also Smell laundry detergents at a store...